Islam and Sex
Islam considers sex as one of the essential human needs that must be
properly satisfied. It is a necessity of the human being that. It
require favorable consideration. In fact, Islam considers it one of the
requirements of life that should be properly and lawfully satisfied.
Moreover, Islam does not treat it as a distasteful, filthy, or heinous
act of man. Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) states in the Glorious Quran
Sura Al-Imran [The Family of Imran] (3:14):“ Fair in the eyes of
men is the love of things they covet: women and sons; heaped-up hoards
of gold and silver; horses branded [for blood and excellence]; and
[wealth of] cattle and well-tilled land. Such are the possessions of
this world's life; but in nearness to Allah is the best of the goals
[to return to]”.
In
addition, Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him)
is reported to have said, which reads as follows:“ Three items of
this world were made attracted [or likeable] to me: women, perfume
[but] the [utmost] pleasure of my eyes [soul] is in prayer”[1].
In
fact, Islam forbids controlling and deprivation of the sexual behavior.
This is, simply, because Islam is the natural religion commensurate to
pure human innate. Islam does not, at any time, conflict with the
requirements of the human's requirements or desires. Islam rather
attempts to answer and fulfill all human needs and requirements. Islam
does so by setting certain lawful limits and restrictions to ensure
satisfying these needs in a right and lawful manner. Islam endeavors to
keep the sex within the framework of human needs and elevates it above
the savage and uncivilized way. Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings
of Allah be upon him) is reported to have said, which reads as follows:“
People enter Jannah, Paradise mostly based on Taqwa of Allah (subhanahu
wa ta'ala) [full respect and obedience of the Commands of Allah
(subhanahu wa ta'ala) and His Messenger (peace and blessings of Allah
be upon him)], and based on their good conduct. [While] most people
enter the Hellfire because of the [ill use] of the mouth and private
parts”[2].
We
shall attempt to present in this booklet, the method, which Islam
instituted for Muslims to regulate the use of the sex. In fact, Islam
sets the mode for the better advancement of man, if he follows the
Islamic rules on the subject. Islam looks at the proper use of the sex
as an act of worship, Ibadah. A Muslim would be rewarded when he
practices this act, as he is rewarded when he does any other acts of
prescribed types of worship. Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings of
Allah be upon him) alluded to this concept when he said, which reads as
follows:“ [A Muslim] would have an intercourse with his spouse ad
would be rewarded for it. The Companions (may Allah be pleased with
him) asked: Oh Messenger of Allah! A person would be rewarded while
satisfying his sexual need? Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings of
Allah be upon him) replied: Yes. Isn't it that he would be punished had
he practiced sex illegally? The same applies if a Muslim practiced a
lawful intercourse with his spouse. As such, he would be rewarded”[3].
The
only acceptable way for sexual satisfaction in Islam is a lawful
"marriage". In fact, Islam urges Muslims to seek marriage and
encourages them to practice it. Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings
of Allah be upon him) is reported to have said, which reads as follows:“
Whoever is financially capable of marriage but does not marry, he does
not belong to Me [i.e., Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings of Allah
be upon him)]” [4].
"
Islam regards marriage as a natural necessity in order to achieve
tranquility and peace of mind for the Muslim. To the society, Islam
regards marriage as a place to foster love, affection, closeness, and
self-denial. Further, Islam regards marriage as a requirement to
maintain the human race. Yet, Islam regards marriage as a mean for
better moral values, preservation of honor and dignity, and
preservation of the moral values of the human society. Thus, neglecting
marriage or rejecting it is regarded as a denial of all the normal
human behaviors and pure code of social ethics"[5].
Hence, the objective of marriage in Islam is to achieve tranquility and
peace of mind for both spouses. Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) states in
Quran Sura Rum (30:21):“ And among His Signs is this, that He
created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in
tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your
[hearts]: verily in that are Signs for those who reflect”.
In
fact, one of the objectives of marriage is to protect both spouses
against indulgence in unlawful sexual practices that may lead to
corruption and immoral acts [such as prostitution, fornication and
adultery or else] in the society. Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) states in
Quran Sura Baqarah (2:187):“ They are your garments and ye are
their garments”.
Undoubtedly, there are certain individuals who reject the call of Islam
for purity and chastity. Such individuals advocate unliceneced sexual
freedom. We believe that such people do not enjoy a normal and natural
human satisfaction. As for Islam, it refuses to degrade Believers to
the state of lower creatures, such as animals. Animals alone are left
to practice sexual freedom as they wish and without any restrictions.
Islam regards it a great sin for man to place his semen in a womb that
is unlawful to him. Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be
upon him) states, whihc read as follows:“ There is no greater sin
after the sin of associating partners with Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala),
than a man placing his semen in a womb [private part of a woman] that
is unlawful for him to place” [6].
Islam instructs Believers purity and chastity. Islam further bestows on
Believers on dignity and honor. Islam guides and directs its followers
in the right direction by which they would be, Allah willing, morally
respectable and productive. Listen to the story of the young man who
came to Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him)
asking him to permit him to practice adultery, as he can't live without
it, after embracing Islam. The Companions (may Allah be pleased with
him) loudly rejected the young man appeal and denied it wholeheartedly.
Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), however,
called the young man closer to him and said, which reads as follows:“
Do you accept [to see] your mother committing adultery?" The young man
replied negatively. Thus, Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings of
Allah be upon him) said, which reads as follows:" As such, other people
refuse to see their mothers [or any other female in their families]
being indulgent in adultery. Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings of
Allah be upon him) further asked the young man, which reads as
follows:" Do you accept [to see] your sister committing adultery?" The
young man replied negatively. Thus, Allah's Messenger (peace and
blessings of Allah be upon him) said, which reads as follows:" As such,
other people refuse to see their sisters committing adultery as well".
Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) further
asked, which reads as follows:" Do you accept [to see] your daughter
committing adultery?" The young man replied negatively. Thus, Allah's
Messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, which reads
as follows:" As such, other people refuse to see their daughters
committing adultery as well". Thus, we notice that Allah's Messenger
(peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) was not harsh at all on the
young man, but he rather prayed for the well-being of this young man
saying:" Oh Allah! Purify the heart of this young man, chastise his
private parts, and enable him to lower his gaze". This young man is
reported to have said:" By Allah! I had never sought unlawful relations
again ever” [7].
This
is Islam. It is a religion that doesn't condone monasticism and total
negligence of the worldly affairs. Islam doesn't to reject all worldly
goods and pleasures completely. Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings
of Allah be upon him)is reported to have said, which reads as follows:“
By Allah! I am, Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon
him), the most God respectful amongst you and most obedient to His
Commands. However, I observe fast [for some days] and break it [for
other days]. I [stand up during the night] offering prayers [for some
time], and I also sleep [some times of the night]. I also marry
[women]. Hence, whoever chooses any other way, other than my Sunnah,
tradition, he doesn't belong to me” [8].
Islam doesn't condone a blind and uncontrolled satisfaction of personal
whims and caprices. Muhammad Qutub, the renowned contemporary Muslim
scholar, says:" We can find no problem for 'sex' in Islam. Islam erects
barriers before all human desires, including sex, which do not totally
block them or deny them. Nevertheless, Islam rather, elevates and
controls such human desires. Islam designs these barriers like that of
the regulating devices on a river during flood seasons. As such, the
regulating devices attempt to raise the level of water temporarily to a
level that can't normally reach, then it let the water run at a higher
level. Similarly, Islam controls the level of human desires by raising
it to a higher plateau. Islam sets rules and regulations for the sex
not to restrict or deny it completely, but rather to permit it within
the scope that Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala)permits to practice such
human desires. These are the limits set by Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala)
as He states in the Glorious Quran Sura Baqarah (2:229):“ These
are the limits ordained by Allah; so do not transgress them if any do
transgress the limits ordained by Allah, such persons wrong [themselves
as well as others]”. Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) , in His vast
wisdom knows that these are the "safe" and "secured" limits to drain
such energies stored in man through human desires. By releasing such
energies in an organized, controlled and safe manner, man can achieve a
great level of success for himself and his society. Nevertheless, even
Jahiliyah, state of ignorance, acknowledges the necessity to organize,
regulate, and control all the human desires, except for "sex". Sex,
among all human desires drives, is the crazy one. Imagine if such a
crazy drive is left without control, regulation, and restrictions, what
would happen to the society, its morals, honor, and individuals?
Jahiliyah doesn't permit the drive and desire of ownership without
regulations. If such a desire left unrestricted, we could see man
wanting to possess and own whatever he likes, through any mean.
However, man made laws classify such acts as a punishable crime of
theft by law. The same is practiced insofar as the food, clothing and
housing drives and desires. All these drives and desires are controlled
by laws and not left for personal or emotional whims"[9].
Islam commands its followers to marry as early as they are able.
Muslims should not fear poverty nor should they apprehend increase of
family members as result of marriage, and thus, because of that, they
stay away from marriage. Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) states in Quran
Sura Nur [The Light] (24:32):“ Marry those among you who are
single, or the virtuous ones among your slaves, male or female: if they
are in poverty, Allah will give them means out of His Grace: for Allah
encompasseth all, and He knoweth all things”.
Moreover, Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him)
is reported to have said, which reads as follows:“ Allah
(subhanahu wa ta'ala) takes it upon Himself to help three types of
people. These are: A warrior, who is striving in the cause of Allah
(subhanahu wa ta'ala). A contracted slave, who wants to pay off the
value set for his freedom of slavery, and, a person, who seeks marriage
to chastise himself” [10].
If a
male Muslim can't afford to marry because of poverty, he is commanded
to chastise himself. Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) states in Quran Sura
Nur [The Light] (24:33):“ Let those who find not the wherewithal
for marriage keep themselves chaste, until Allah gives them means out
of His Grace”.
Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) gives
advice that makes it easier to a certain extent for a person, who is
unable to marry for dearth of marriage expenses. This advice harnesses
his desire to marry and enables him to control his sexual desires.
Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) is
reported to have said, which reads as follows:“ Oh young men!
Whoever is capable [financially and otherwise] to [afford the expenses]
of marriage, let him do so. [Marriage] helps one control his eyesight
and chastise his private parts. But, he who can't afford the marriage
expenses, let him observe fast as it would [act] as a protector for him”
[11].
The
Glorious Quran further illustrated the best example of subduing the
sexual drive in the story of Prophet Yousuf (peace and blessings of
Allah be upon him) [Joseph]. Prophet's Yousuf (peace and blessings of
Allah be upon him) story is set as one of the best examples for the
Muslim youth. Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) states in Quran Sura Yousuf
(peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) (12:23-24):“ But she
in whose house he was, sought to seduce him from his [true] self: she
fastened the doors, and said: Now come, thou [dear one]! he said: Allah
forbid! Truly [thy husband] is my lord! He made my sojourn agreeable!
Truly to no good come those who do wrong! And [with passion] did she
desire him, and he would have rejected her, but that he saw the
evidence of his Lord: thus [did We order] that We might turn away from
him [all] evil and shameful deeds: for he was one of Our servants,
sincere and purified”.
Yousuf (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) overlooked the
adverse results stemming from his denial to the request of the
prestigious lady. The result of rejecting her request for evil acts was
imprisonment. Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) states in Quran Sura Yousuf
(peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) (12:32-34):“ She said:
There before you is the man about whom ye did blame me! I did seek to
seduce him from his [true] self but he did firmly save himself
guiltless! And now, if he doth not my bidding, he shall certainly be
cast into prison and [what is more] be of the company of the vilest! He
said: O my Lord! The prison is more to my liking than that to which
they invite me: unless Thou turn away their snare from me, I should [in
my youthful folly] feel inclined towards them and join the ranks of the
ignorant. So his Lord hearkened to him [in his prayer], and turned away
from him their snare: verily He heareth and knoweth [all things]”.
[1] Amad and Nasai report
this Hadith.
[2] Trimithi reported this
Hadith.
[3] Ahmad reported this Hadith.
[4] Al-Baihaqi reported this
Hadith.
[5] Al-Kholi, al-Bahi, 'Woman
Between Home and Society'.
[6] Ahmad reported this Hadith.
[7] Tabarani reported this
Hadith.
[8] Bukhari and Muslim reported
this Hadith.
[9] The Islamic Education
Curriculum, Dar-al-Shuruq, Vol.2, P.218-9.
[10] Tirmithi reported this
Hadith.
[11] Bukhari and Muslim
reported this Hadith.
Written by: Abdur-Rahman A. Al-Sheha
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